I have a friend whose been dating this guy for the past few months and she's happy with him (well...for the most part...)He's gorgeous and has NO kids, he has this big time job, he owns multiple cars and property, and everything she asks for, he hasn't hesitated to provide it for her BUT of course, there's a RED FLAG...
In addition to her thinking "something is just off with him", there's not ONE person she's introduced him to that hasn't questioned his sexual orientation (behind his back that is).
They've shared kisses and touches, but haven't "done the do". She's assured me that it's not because he's not trying but moreso because she's holding out while she tries to find a way to approach the subject without offending him soooooo...I've decided to reach out to YOU, the people to ask for suggestions on how she should proceed.
Thoughts anyone???
Um, I gots nothing! *lol* Does she know much about his past? Other long term, significant relationships with women? Or is she the first??? How old are they both?
Read this yesterday, and I can honestly say I had no ideas o_O. Any approach sounds like a bad idea lol. There's just no easy way around this.
I do have one question though. How does SHE feel about him? Does she get that vibe from him?
I agree with the first commenter, it would be a good idea if your friend tried to dig into his dating history a bit more.
The only option I see would be to be straight-forward about it in a respectful manner. I also thought that maybe bringing it up in a "light-hearted way" (ie. mentioning what her friends said jokingly) could be another route to take. But I'm not sure if it's a "right" thing do??? o_o
IDK!!! lol Hopefully we get a follow-up post with the situation though lol
Dang... I don't think there is any way she could approach this and not offend him... Questioning a dude's sexuality is the ultimate nail-in-the-coffin for a relationship. I guarantee he won't get over the memory of his girl thinking he was queer.
My first response to this, though, was, so what if everyone thinks he might be gay, what does SHE think?? And I thought that 'cause, what if when you say EVERYONE you really mean some *possibly* jealous women? If this dude is handsome and ballin' and allathat, maybe they're just trying to find something wrong. Maybe they think that because they misinterpret his sharp suits or his eloquent grammar. Maybe they're not used to seeing a successful stylin' brotha. Could be all sorts of things. But now, if your girl is questioning that too, that's def a red flag. But I wouldn't suggest asking outright or mentioning what other people are saying. That'll offend the very core of this man if it turns out they're wrong. I'd do some secret-spy type ish and look for old pics. Google his name; see if he's got an old MySpace or public Facebook page or something. Casually bring up her own exes and ask if he has any crazy ex stories.
Perhaps he is romancing her? A couple of months is still fresh to do the do! But she may need to find out all the particulars before jumping to conclusions...but nowadays you never know.
What your friend should do is think about what is it about dude that she perceives as being "off" and think about whether it is a trait that goes against what she (and her friends) are used in the opposite sex to OR is it a big red flag on its own.
She should ask him questions about his upbringing (ex. was he raised around just a lot of women?), his dating life (was he a late bloomer? does she get the vibe that maybe he's being shy or letting her take the lead?) and of course before they do become more intimate, ask about his sexual past in a way where that kind of conversation can flow naturally.
Keep us posted (you've made us all curious lol)