…those were the words she spoke when I finally decided to stop ignoring her calls at or around 2 am.

Me: *still half asleep: "Hello"
Her: *with even more attitude than the first time: "Who's this?!?!?!"
Me: *sittin' up in bed: "Excuse me
Her: *screamin' into the phone like she was speakin' to someone with hearin' problems "I said…I wanna know who the hell this is!"
Me: *wide awake now: "Ummm…you callin' my house…I should be askin' you that."
Her: "Well this is Malik's girlfriend and son's mother Shonda…" [<--- She said that shit like it was supposed to mean somethin' y'all LOL] -- "I wanna know who this, where Malik is and why the hell you answerin' his phone that I pay the bill for?!?!"

I don't know why but in that instant, I totally pictured her exactly like THIS:

Me: "You got the wrong number hun…there's nobody here by that name."
Her: *super sarcastic-like "Whatchu mean there's nobody here by that name. (???) I know what I dialed and I need you to tell Malik that he betta STOP fuckin' wit me and get his ass on this phone before there be some problems."
Me: "Look…Again I'ma say…there's nobody here by that name."

At this point, she gets quiet. I'm guessing a light bulb went off and chick decided to look at her phone to make sure she dialed the right number. Ol' bobble head ass bioooootch!

Her: "Oooooooooh snap…you know what…I'm sorry Miss. I dialed the wrong area code but otherwise, you have the same phone number as my son's farva" (<--- that's how she pronounced it y'all). "I'm sooooooooo sorry.

O_o

I wanted to get in her ass. Not only did she wake me up from a peaceful sleep but she was callin' MY house at a booty call hour with some n*gga shit.

Her: "Its just that….well….you know how these men do and I needed to make sure my baby farva wasn't laid up with one of his otha baby mothers."

Me: *staring blankly at the phone before disconnecting her call and sayin' a silent prayer for her ol' silly ass.

::shakin' my damn head::

...OR AT LEAST, NOT UNTIL SHE'S DEAD.

Lately, I've been urging my daughter to do something with her life.

She'll be 21 [tomorrow]… TWENTY.ONE y'all and while I'm happy she's finally made the decision to apply to community college, she's been out of work for months now and she hasn't shown any interest in finding another job. Why??? Because she thinks "all of the jobs available to person(s) who have her current level of education and work experience are NOT what she considers her ideal job".

I sat down with her and I explained that there's gonna be a time in her life [AHEM…NOW] where she has to take a job that's not ideal. Hell truth be it told, MOST people have worked a job or a few they didn't like or love but they did for the money and or work experience but she hasn't been open to the idea.

If that's not HEADACHE enough, she's developed a habit I canNOT stand where she's up/on her laptop ALLLLLL night long and sleeps until the late afternoon hours when IN MY OPINION, she should be out there fillin' out applications or doin' something else more constructive with her time.

Have I mentioned how it bugs the hell out of me to have to get up out MY bed in the morning only to see her just nestling into hers in a house that I have to contribute money for gas, electric, cable, mortgage and FOOD that obviously, she gets to reap the benefit of while she's home/layin' on her butt all day???

Don't get me wrong…I mean I don't expect her to work full-time [considering she's going to be taking classes soon] and I don't expect her to fork over a ridiculous portion of her paycheck when she does find another job either but ummm…yours truly didn't get to sit on my ass at twenty one and I sure as hell ain't about to let another [able body person] who lives under my roof AND off of my dime do it either.

"Friends" think I'm overreacting. <--- they USUALLY do…

They say she's still young and has plenty of time to look for work….That she's a good kid and I should be happy she isn't out running behind boys and partying/hanging out like most girls her age.

They're right…I AM happy she's the child [well…person] she is. I just want her to be MORE ambitious and I'm willing to PUSH no wait…SHOVE her in that direction IF NEED BE.

There's nothing wrong with that right??? Right.

So…I'm walkin' the kid to school this mornin' when this nappy headed/snot nosed/dry faced kid whose lookin' over his shoulder/talkin to someone behind him ends up slamming into my son's shoulder.

They're kids...I don't really expect him to apologize but it was his fault so I thought it would be fitting if at the very least, he mumbled the words "my bad" and kept it movin'.

Well…in true nigglet fashion, that didn't happen…Instead, the future hamburger flipper decided to show his @ss…

"Yo…don't bump into me my nigga! -- I'm an athlete bitch…you betta watch where you're goin'." <--- That's what he yelled over his shoulder.

My son and I turned to look at him and immediately afterwards we looked at each other and just laughed at his lil' DUSTY ass.

Apparently he wasn't expecting this so to further prove that he should have been flushed down the toilet, he dropped his pants AND briefs in the middle of a fairly crowded block, cupped his peen and told me to "suck his d**k."

Now I won't lie...I wanted to dodge in his direction and drop kick his lil' ass on the spot I mean… yell something equally offensive back at him BUT…I had to remind myself that he was a child and likely, a product of his environment. Furthermore, it was more important for me to teach my son something HIS parents obviously failed to teach him <--- RESPECTFUL BEHAVIOR.

I have a friend whose been dating this guy for the past few months and she's happy with him (well...for the most part...)

He's gorgeous and has NO kids, he has this big time job, he owns multiple cars and property, and everything she asks for, he hasn't hesitated to provide it for her BUT of course, there's a RED FLAG...

In addition to her thinking "something is just off with him", there's not ONE person she's introduced him to that hasn't questioned his sexual orientation (behind his back that is).

They've shared kisses and touches, but haven't "done the do". She's assured me that it's not because he's not trying but moreso because she's holding out while she tries to find a way to approach the subject without offending him soooooo...I've decided to reach out to YOU, the people to ask for suggestions on how she should proceed.

Thoughts anyone???

I'm B-E-A-T y'all . Truth be told, the last time I got a good sleep was last week Saturday and y'all already KNOW how passionate I am about nighty nap time right??? Right.

For some reason, I'm having some weird ass dreams lately...

Last night I had a dream that this dude who had no face was trying to kill me!!!

In the dream, he's dragging me all over the place and although I feel like I can take him, I'm not making any effort to stop him. WTH????

He's angry with me...REALLY angry but no matter what he does to hurt me I.WILL.NOT.DIE.

Nope...I ain't even goin' out like that!!

In the dream, he shoved me off the roof of a building BUT I survived...He repeatedly held my head under the water in an attempt to drown me BUT I survived that too. When he realized his previous attempts didn't work, he shot me several times in my chest and head and while I remember everything going black at that point, you better believe I was STILL breathing.

The night before that I had a dream I was pregnant...

In that dream there were two dudes BOTH who had no faces <--- Can anybody tell me WTF that's about?!?!?! Both of them seemed to be convinced (despite my cries that I knew neither of em' mind you) they were my unborn baby's father.

CREEPY!
CREEPY!!
CREEPY!!!

Then, In another dream I had a couple of days before that, I was the only one on the planet and was walking around in complete darkness. Naked and crying uncontrollably.

To who??? I have no idea.
For what??? I have no idea.
WHY??? I.HAVE.NOOOOOOOO.DAMN.IDEA but I WILL say I looked pretty HAWT naked!!! LMAO .

I'm tired. Confused. ...and want nothing more than to go home, shower and hop in my bed for a GOOD night's sleep.
Okay...Can I go home now???

I'll be the first to admit that no one was more worried about my son starting a new school than I am/was.

I worry because my son is a REALLY quiet kid. He's not tough like some other boys his age, THIS IS THE YEAR THAT PEER PRESSURE STARTS and this is his first experience in an all boy school and...well...we ALL know how kids can be these days O_o.

Today, he called me with good and bad news...

The good news is he took the initiative and made a couple of "friends" -- HOORAY!!!

The bad news: His class had to be evacuated because some kid A STUDENT IN HIS CLASS at that bragged to some kids in another room that he brought a knife to school.

WHAT.IN.THE.SAM.HELL?!?!?!?!

The kids bag was checked and the knife was recovered thank god but when they attempted to talk to him about why he was carrying it in the first place, the kid took off running and left the damn school.

OH.HELL.TO.THE.NO!

I'm trying NOT to panic. Trying to reason that maybe he's one of those kids who think carrying a weapon is cool but he wasn't really gonna put it to any use but the reality is I have to wonder what the hell a 12 year old is thinking/going through in order to do something like this in the first place AND ESPECIALLY SO WHEN HE'S A STUDENT IN A SCHOOL I SEND MY CHILD.

Trust that I'll be up with the sun tomorrow to get to the bottom of what is going on here.

And to think it's just the first week of school...
I can just imagine what the rest of the year will bring.

I borrowed my son's iPad recently and found out after cleaning up the history ---> and by that I mean BEING NOSEY that he's been searching google for "How to find a girlfriend in the 6th grade". He's 11 years old for cryin' out loud...this is JUST his first year of middle school. I mean...shouldn't his mind STILL be on cartoons, video games #nshyt??? Lawd.give.me.strength!

I suddenly don't feel so bad for putting him in an all boy school. Nope!!!

...And UGGH @ the sh*t people attempt to find answers to on google.

I had a whole 57 minute convo with my daughters dad yesterday and not once did I have to cuss, raise my voice or remind him what a deadbeat dad he's been. <--- That was weird. #Totally.

Ummm...who knew inmates were allowed to use facebook??? How come nobody put the bug in my ear??? ...And the bigger/more important question here is: Why the hell did my ex-husbands brother whose in prison send me a "friend request"???? Boy...bye!

The man wants me to cook every night y'all talmbout "he don't eat leftovers". Lately, I've been doin' the damn thang in the kitchen but every night tho??? Yea...*yawn that's gon' be a problem REAL SOON.

Speaking of cookin', did I tell y'all I put my FOOT in some jerk turkey wings the other day??? Hate to toot my own damn horn but ummmm... They came out grrrrrEAT!!!!!

Since we got the new place, I can NOT curb my urge to shop for it. Seriously, all those curtains, dishes, rugs, towels, sheets and other household knick knacks...::whisperin':: they be callin' me maaaaaaaaan.

Am I wrong for constantly REMINDING my daughter that she SWORE she was movin' out as SOON as she turned 18 yet she'll be 21 in two more months and SHE'S STILL THERE??? No right??? #right

Who goes school shoppin' the day before school starts back??? <--- Me...that's who. *I.swear.I.make.ME.sick.sometime*

There's no more sleepin' late. I have to be up/off my bed at 6 am now that the summer break is over and school is back in session. No one should have to be up before the sun rises and especially not ME. UGGH.

::whispering:: ...Then again, me breaking my sleep for anything is STILL a problem. LOL

Livin' on my own makes me realize how good I've had living with the man's family over the years. Do I miss them???? HELLLLLLLLLLLLLZ NO!

How come whenever I'm prepared for the rain, it never comes??? Now I'm walkin' round in these heavy/hot @ss rain boots.

Friday...where are you??? As usual, I am ready to go HOME!

Sooooooo...I think I'm starting to feel some type of way...
Why (you ask)???
Well folks...this is gonna be a little bit TMI but since I know deep down that you care to know, here goes ---> ::whispering:: my.birds.have.a.healthier.sex.life than I do.
Remember a couple of months ago when I mentioned that Cinnamon (my female cockatiel) had laid not one, not two and not three but SEVEN eggs over the course of a week???

That's right y'all...SEVEN!

Well I've neglected to keep you all posted but after several weeks of anxiously waiting and watching each of em' hatch, NOT nary ONE of em' survived and do you know why that is???? ---> My birds are so busy fuggin' that they suck at parenting!

I kid y'all NOT...They don't sit on the eggs. As a matter of fact, they shit on em' *literally. They don't tend to em' once they've hatched. NOTHING.

Now before you go blaming me, you should KNOW that I've done my part. I've gone out and wasted all this damn money buying all these different bird books so I'd know exactly what to expect when my birds were expecting. I've wasted more money on a nesting box and other nesting materials try'na keep mama bird comfortable after she's laid "X" amount of eggs and I'm thinkin' the punanny gots to be all hurt the hell up. I've conditioned myself to deal with the stench of their cage because I found out AFTER they ate one of their children that we aren't supposed to touch or move em' or the parents will reject them. I buy them the best foods, vitamins, bird treats and toys and what do I get for all my efforts besides a shitty cage filled with a bunch a dead babies that I have to clean in the long run??? #NOTHIN'.

Did I tell y'all that before I left for my more recent vacation the damn birds decided to give me a parting present??? Wanna know what it was???? Suuuuuuure you do: 9...more...eggs!!!!

Disgusted over how they treated the first seven I did nothing. Instead I made up my mind that I'd just leave for the two weeks and see what happens while I was gone. Well...When I returned from my trip and found that NONE of the obviously NEGLECTED eggs had hatched, one by one I removed them from the cage and tossed em' in the trash.

There...that oughta show her I am NOT to be phucked with! (I thought)

SURPRISINGLY after I did so, mama bird decided to come down off her perch and walk around the floor of the cage (the same cage her children once sat NEGLECTED) while giving me the eye as if to ask "WTF have I done with her babies".

See how much nerve she got?!?!?!

I speak to my birds like they can understand me so I actually knelt down to her level and explained to her that since she's been a bad birdie and she's NOT taking care of her kids that I'm not letting her keep them.

There..in her damn BIRD face!!!

Tell me why NOT even a full half an hour afterwards they started getting busy again.

...And an hour after that, they did it again...
...And five hours after that, again.
...And before I fell asleep they did it, AGAIN.

The end result???
She's laid ANOTHER egg and at the rate their fuggin (which is every five minutes) I got a feeling that there will be a lot more where that came from.

UGGH...I give up.
Maybe I should have just bought my son a fish cause I'll be damned if it don't feel Birds gone wild up in this biotch!!!

I know I've said this before but this time, I really can't believe it's been sooooooooo long since my last post.

I haven't been up to much since. Let's see...

If you follow me on twitter and/or are my friend via facebook then you already know I went on a two week vacation to Jamaica and LOVED it (well...save for the mosquitoes, goats, bull frogs, roosters, red ants and little lizard like thing-a-majigs I spotted almost EVERYWHERE) . Next time I go I plan to be kid F-R-E-E- though and hopefully, THAT time I'll remember to bring lots and lots of bug repellent because it's obvious that they can’t resist me .

I was rushed to the ER because I was certain my high cholesterol had caught up to me and I was having a heart attack when the reality was that I was suffering from acid reflux. Ummm...soooooooo NOT the business but I'm thankful I was seen immediately, it wasn't nearly as serious as I thought and that Zantac worked quickly in taking my chest pain away.

The man and I painted and furnished all three bedrooms!
I absolutely LOVE the way the house is coming along. At some point, I'll update with photos but since y'all know how I roll, y'all probably shouldn't hold me to it.

I had a yard sale in my own damn yard and managed to make a pretty penny too. Need I mention that you never really realize how much unnecessary sh*t you have until it's time to move???? Sheesh!!!

We found tenants for the basement..A working couple who have no kids and no plans to have any anytime soon <-- (his words). LOL. They SEEM like cool people but we'll see and of course, I’ll keep you all posted on that one.

We've slowly started moving in and have had lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of “fun time” there LMAO.
I know...I know...with all the talk of me having it up to --->HERE<---- with the mans family, you'd have thunk (and yes I did type "THUNK") this would be top priority BUT surprisingly enough this isn't so. Besides, there are about two (possibly even three) more weeks before the work on the ground floor of the house will be done and once that's taken care of, we’re in there.

Anyway, that's all I got for now. Gotta think about all I need to prepare for Hurricane Irene and on that note, y'all be safe this weekend!

When I was a young teenager, there was this girl in my building who was DYIN' to hang with me and a group of girls I rolled with on a regular basis.

We were hesitant to welcome her into the fold though...::whispering:: She wasn't that easy on the eyes, she smelled bad no wait...she straight up STANK and there were rumors in the hood that both her and her slightly older sister slept with any and everybody so...we ain't wanna risk getting a bad rep on account of hangin' with her.

Try to avoid her as we did however, she was persistent in her quest to be down. She stole from her mom and bought us shit from the store with the money, she stole from stores, offered to steal for us directly and she stayed tryin' to invite us to her house because her mother was almost never home.

Slowly but surely, she succeeded. It took her a minute to make it happen but she started to hang tight with us.

Needless to say when we got our first bright idea to cut school, we chilled at her house and the same could be said of the second, third, fourth, fifth and however many OTHER times we did.

We caught on quick as to WHY she smelled the way she did...Her house was filthy and that's putting it nicely -- (I'm talkin' bout shoes, clothes, trash, toys, books, paper and all kinds of sh*t all over the place) and now that I think back on it, I'm pretty sure they were hoarders of the worst kind. At the same time, with her mom being gone and her sister forever being at some dude's house we could eat, sleep and chill and not worry about being picked up by truancy officers so we dealt with it. She even gave us a spare key (but warned NEVER to use it unless she gave us the okay to do so).

Gradually, we went from cutting a few classes towards the end of the day to skipping school entirely and of course her house was the hang out spot. To this day, I don't know WHERE I got the idea but as the five of us sat there one morning after downing steak um sandwiches and koolaid while listening this song I opened my big mouth and the dumbest words came out...I said: "Hey...why don't we help _______ clean up".

Surprisingly enough, all the other girls were down so we teamed up/spent the whole day cleaning up this chicks house/tossin' sh*t in the garbage and it was a damn good job we did indeed.

At 3:15 like clockwork, we left. It was time to head home/smile in our unsuspecting parents' faces like we did sooooooo many OTHER days not knowing that this day would be our last at her house.

That evening I got a knock on my door and when I looked through the peephole it was HER and her mother! *GASP* -- My first instinct was to ignore em' but since the knocking kept getting louder and was drawing attention to everybody else in the house I had to open it.

She stood there with tears in her eyes. Looked like she was cryin' for hours but wouldn't look at me directly (only the floor) while her mother demanded to speak to mine. *GULP* -- I told her to hold on...pushed in the door and prayed for a miracle while trying to think of a plan but my nosey ass stepfather (who was no damn joke) was hellbent on finding out who it was.

I don't recall hearing what she said to him but I know he let her in and that I was told to go in the room while they talked. When it was all said and done I walked away from it with a royal ass whuppin' (I couldn't sit comfortably for like 2 weeks), a couple of months of punishment and the promise that if ever I stepped foot in that ladies house again, I wouldn't live to talk about it.

Since we all lived in the same neighborhood everybody's mother got a visit and the end result was similar.

It wouldn't be until months later when we finally started talking to her again that we found out her mother wasn't mad about the fact that we were playing hooky in her house, that her daughter hooked us up with a spare key, that the older sister was leaving the younger one unsupervised so often or that we were eating up all her damn food but she was devastated that we cleaned up throwing away some of her most prized possessions. O_o.

I say all that to say this: Obviously, that hoarding is some REEEEEEAAAAAAAAL SERIOUS shit! *She found me on FB recently and sent a friend request BUT the memory of that ass kickin' coupled by the echo of that threat that's STILL in the back of my head is preventing me from approving it though. LMAO*

Oh the memories...

Despite the fact that I have so much to be thankful for (A.) my health and strength, B.) a new home, C.) a steady job/paycheck, D.) family/friends who love me and E.) most of my sanity ), lately I've been miserable on the inside.

I don't know if it's a feeling that comes with age or that I'm seeing so many friends doin' big things that it has me paying closer attention to self but all of a sudden, I am overwhelmed with the feeling that I haven't accomplished anything. Well...at least, NOT enough.

It's crazy how time flies but I'm just realizing we've been living at the mans mom's house for exactly 10 years. Yep...TEN. ::shakin' my damn head:: That means for a decade I've been afforded the opportunity to pay next to nothing in living expenses and instead of making a conscious effort to save so I'd have something to show for it in the end, I basically spent the time blowing through money.

Don't get me wrong, that's not to say that I don't have anything put away for a rainy day but it's not nearly enough as it should be/could have been.

You're probably thinkin' I'm overreacting AGAIN. Sayin' to yourself "didn't you just contribute to the purchase of a new home???" when the reality is all of the money used for the down payment and closing costs of was from the man's pocket. All of it. I mean yes my name is included on the deed but let's face it, if for any reason, we decided to end things today or tomorrow rightfully I, who made NO monetary contribution would end up being assed out.

If that's not headache enough, I'm equally unhappy at work where for the past few months, I've felt overworked, underpaid AND also, unappreciated.

I already work for more folks than any other assistant in the building for the same damn salary and someone recently put the bug in my ear that when my coworker (another assistant on the floor) retires next year, the plan is that I'll be working for HER boss as well. I haven't been able to address this with my bosses. The person who told me wasn't supposed to and of course, she begged me NOT to lead on that I'm aware so the shit has been eating me up.

I don't know what their plan is...I'm hoping it's to sit down/talk with me about this added responsibility complete with offering me a pay increase but something tells me that's NOT going to happen. As it stands, when she's out or away I fill in for her anyway so I feel like they just think their going to shove the shit on my plate and expect me to eat it.

Obviously, I need to think of a plan and not only that, but execute it. UGGH!!!

It took us long enough...lawd knows it did but the man and I are officially homeowners.

HOORAY!!!!

It's been a few weeks since we signed on the dotted line for a 3 bedroom/2 bathroom home in the Canarsie area of Brooklyn. It even has a full basement that we plan to rent ASAP.

I absolutely love the area... We're on a quiet/tree lined street, have a decent size backyard...Enough parking space for two vehicles and the neighbors seem nice ::whispering:: a little on the nosy side but there ain't too many places you can go to avoid that in this day/age. LOL

We're moving in ---> (albeit slowly). The man who is so anal about perfection that I'm convinced he was supposed to be born a woman sometimes wants it to be perfect so he's doing all this electrical work, having new floors put down/carpets replaced (because the previous owners owned a dog and I swear I can STILL smell him) and several areas of the house (ie, the kitchen, dining room area and our bedroom need new paint jobs.

Guess what he's leaving up to me??? G'head...I'll wait...

FURNITURE SHOPPING!!! WOO HOOOOO!!! ::whispering:: Just like a man to flake when it comes to shopping but as long as he leaves his wallet behind I ain't mad. LOL

I've attached a slideshow below. NOTE: Im'ma need y'all to excuse the clutter/holes/exposed wiring/dust/mess and random knick knacks all over the place (for it is still a work in progress) but dammit...it's mine I mean... ours. ;)

I have so many topics to blog about today:

A.) The fact that we finally have our home BUT the man is now KILLIN' himself to add all these finishing touches to it BEFORE we move into it. <--- UGGH!!! #thisn*gga

B.) The fact that I have two children who will be celebrating birthdays this month (in the coming days to be exact)...

C.) The jerk who completely humiliated his girlfriend at the train station in front of dozens this morning.
OR
D.) My sudden desire to change my career path BUT...I'm savin' em' all for next week!

Right now, I'd like to get off my chesticles ::cough:: COMPLAIN ABOUT ::cough:: my recent mini vacation to Virginia with a friend and our children.

Now...The plan was for the trip to be fun yet easy on the pockets so when we found a deal on a 2 bedroom suite @ $250 per person which was $500 for me and $1,000 for her (because she had to pay for herself and her three children whereas I had to pay for myself and my son) we hopped on it.

Bear in mind that this deal also included tickets for unlimited access to Busch Gardens and Water Country for the duration of our 5 night stay so all we really had to have money for was transportation to and from where we would be going, food (to cook at the resort) or while we were out with the kids at the theme parks and if we so desired, souvenirs for our children, family and/or friends.

Well...for whatever reason, it really bothered my friend that "it was so easy for me to provide the things my son asked for". She pretty much voiced that because she couldn't afford to buy everything her kids wanted (because again, she was there with three kids in tow while I only had one) that I could have been more considerate of her financial situation/done a better job at refusing my son some of the things he asked for.

Now...y'all KNOW how hard I go for my son right??? #right -- The kid is rotten but ONLY because between his father and I, we can afford for him to be!

Granted, we planned the trip at the last minute and neither of us are ballers BUT had I been in a situation where I knew it would be a financial strain on me, I would have declined the offer to go on the trip or at the very least, asked if we could push it back until my finances would allow me to do more but I would NEVER ask her to do the same.

Her daughter is my godchild so while she didn't flat out say so, I think that she thought I should have offered to cover the expenses for her as well but in MY opinion, that's something we would have had to have established up front and we did NOT so...she couldn't have possibly EXPECTED me to right???

I mean...I was there tryin' to show my kid a good time just like the next person so why should I have to deprive him of something because she couldn't afford to do the same for her children??

I don't know...maybe I'm not being rational here but what say you??? Should I have been more considerate of her financial struggle by making my son go without?? Is she in the wrong for expecting me to or are we BOTH wrong here????

If y'all leave it up to me, I'll never finish this 10 day challenge so when I noticed the homie shesayswhatever came up with the idea of cramming three days of into a single post, I just had to steal it! Well... jump on the bandwagon.

In an effort to keep this as simple as possible, I decided to stick with three films/movies that I love, have seen hundreds of times and can quote word for word which are:



AND...
I don't care what my kids say, in MY opinion, they never get old.
Okay, onto the next ---> two songs...
I had the hardest time narrowing down just two but again, I opted for old favorites of mine which are:

AND

And last but far from least, here's a photo of ME that I just snapped using my office computer:

**PHOTO HAS BEEN REMOVED**

...lookin' like I'm try'na pass a mean one. LMAO NOTE TO SELF: DO NOT...I REPEAT, DO NOT MAKE THIS FACIAL EXPRESSION EVER AGAIN BECAUSE THE AMOUNT OF WRINKLES IT CAUSES IN MY BIG ASS NOSE IS JUST RIDICULOUS! ---> UGGH!

I hereby interrupt the 10 day blog challenge to BRAG ABOUT *AHEM announce how proud I am that my son has graduated from elementary school.

Suuuuuure I could complain about how we were asked to be there for a graduation we were constantly reminded would begin "promptly at nine" BUT didn't start until 10:38 OR...the woman sitting in front of me who blocked what would have been a perfect view had she NOT brought fifty eleven oversized helium balloons with her OR... the two degree hotter than hell auditorium it was held that had a maximum capacity of about 150 persons when there was at least three hundred and ninety three in attendance OR...the two big ass stand fans they had on BLAST which not only drowned out the sound of the obviously low budget microphone BUT did absoFUGGINlutely nothin' to cool off the small and again, overly crowded auditorium OR...how I saw more than a fair share of little girls in heels too high for em' to walk and don't even get me started on some of their mama's and mamas' mama's whose outfits were fit for The Happy Hooker Hotel BUT...I won't. Well...not this time anyway.

Total time spent (in attendance): 3.5 hours
Money spent for the occasion: $380
The look on my son's face when it was all said and done and he KNEW me and his pappy had to go home so he and his lil' friends could have the "REAL FUN" at his prom... GUILTY!!! I mean...:


PRICELESS!!!

There's no future in frontin' so I have to admit that I haven't read a good or bad book in a minute. If my memory serves me however the titles of the last four books I did read (in no particular order) are as follows:

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey. -- Can't say it's a book I'd have gone out and paid money for BUT...since it was a gift from my boss at the time, I read it and actually enjoyed it.

Don't Sweat the small stuff...and it's all small stuff by Dr. Richard Carlson. -- Another book I got as a gift and thought was pretty good.

How to Stop Dating Losers Forever by Dr. Anthony Riche. -- I bought this book for my daughter BUT since I couldn't convince her to read it and I REFUSED to let my $15 go to waste, I ended up doing so myself.

And last but not least was the book Why Men Love Bitches by Sherry Argov. -- What can I say...The title alone drew me to it and the prologue piqued my interest enough to make me buy it. My thoughts on the book??? The author made a lot of valid points so...in my opinion, it was worth the money spent.

Can I just point out how much its botherin' me that I started this challenge 2 days BEFORE the homie Dave did and he's already finished???

Anyway...onto day 6 of the 10 day YOU challenge and guess what the topic is???? FOOD!!! #HOORAY!!!

I should state for the record that I have some riDAMNdiculously STRANGE eating habits. As a matter of fact, I can just look at something and determine if I'll like it! <--- Weird, I know but it's true. If it don't have the right texture, scent and in some instances, color??? Yea...I'll pass.

Below are five foods that don't make the cut and by that I mean I could NEVER see myself eating:

SHRIMP: The smell of this alone nauseates me and no matter what a fish market does to "clean it up", I canNOT get past how it looks BEFORE they do. Those beady little eyes, those long antennaes, the fifty-eleven legs they have. ::shuddering @ the thought:: It doesn't help that the man told me a story about his Uncle who was murdered in Guyana and when they pulled his body from the water it was covered in SHRIMP! No suh...No can do!

FROG LEGS: If I had a dollar for EVERY TIME somebody claimed "they taste just like chicken" I swear, I'd be a rich biooootch! Will I ever find out for myself??? Hell.to.the.no! Frogs are NOT cute and they are one of my LEAST favorite colors ---> GREEN. Ain't no amount of cleanin' up/seasonin' gon' make me see otherwise. Nope!

CRABS: I canNOT begin to tell you how it makes my skin crawl to watch a person feastin' on these. They lay all this napkin/newspaper, tear off the legs just so, suck out this...crack and pull off that. I know for a fact that if I can't even stomach watchin' somebody else eatin em' ain't no way in hell I ever plan to. *I did mention I'm freaked out by anything that has too many legs right??? #right*

OCTOPUS: The ex hubby used to looooooooove some octopus! <--- Ol' nasty summa bi*ch! I'm sayin' doe...does anything about this look appetizing to you??? Yea...I ain't think so.

And last but far from least CHITTLINS: Son...Have you smelled them sh*ts?!?!?! Besides...PIG INTESTINES??? REALLY??? #NOTTHEKID


Six days down...four to go. Now if you'll excuse me, .